Image provided by: Yesterday in Turner; Turner, OR
About The Turner tribune. (Turner, Or.) 19??-19?? | View Entire Issue (Oct. 24, 1929)
World’s Richest Man Returns to Boyhood School Aft**r «II, ■ prlaon I* not mnlniaiiiml aa a place of reel, raclent loo «m l is cuperuflnu. Who c«n remember Ilia olii foahloned «lude, o f whom II wua «alti, "kivery Mim« a picture?*' When Babies Natura la alili lrlimi|ilianl. No irlri look« na weirdly lank In pereou aa la tba faalilon picture«. Tha I i I kki ' i I fourfluelier armimi loivn olii Ima II take* two o f ilio new amali aliai! l'llla |o llalli a rigar. Hark boma when you wanlail ana pendere, jrnu Junl walked Into a alora amt aakril for “ auppeitdera." A customer nunt Into the grocer*« and found biro chuckling lie rtlly, al though no on* was In sight. : “ What's the Joker* he asked. “ Ho, b o !" I Juat got even with my barber,“ and be slapped bis hands to gether. "H ow** t h s t r “ H e came In for s loaf of bread and 1 named over everything In the stort before I'd get It for him.“ Wa Aniarlrana look U|>on Iha orlan lata with pity anil they gaia on ua with ronlampl, anil ao lionora ara «van. “ A western girl baa m ail« ■ faab km ahl« ilraaa out o f shavings from tha sawm ill." K r—and about Ilia apllnl- •r a t “ Swiss cheese nota ylolillng lo artan- tlata," aaya a haaitllna. Wa never know anyona « I « « to gal Iha hallar o f It Orarhaard on tha hue: I Id you | ||#nry y or(j |,a(i tha little old school where he learned Iha "th ree Ila" removed to Dearborn. Mich.. and the oilier «pend tha usual two weak« vacation t,a officiated at It* reopening, aaalalad by bla boyhood aeatinala. Dr. Bdaai Kuddlman. and hla eon, Kdaal at home? Uh huh—a vary uiual y or)1 >n,8 niualratlno abowa the school house and Ita pupil«, and Mr. Ford eeated among Iha children, tw o week«.1* New Plane Designed for Transatlantic Flight An Interesting sight wa haven't en countered In IB yea r« at least la a runaway team bllrbad to a water melon wagon. C i i I h Hairdressing T h e Owner o f the Boodle— Tee. N a poleon Is a nice little dog. I don't wonder that yon admire him. T Ii* Owner o f the Airedale— It Isn't that, but I'm Just dying to know w ber* you got that lovely permanent w avs fo r him. I want U> have my dog don* tbe tam e way. A GOOD MECHANIC "W h y do you buy mora ahora, al this tImeT Tou have II pairs In tha clos e t “ “ I know, but I need the b oi tor • picnic lunch.“ A view o f the new and specially designed two-motored tandem monoplane which wag tested St Roosevelt Held, l.ong Island, In preparation for a proposed flight from N ew York to Bucharest, Rumania. The plane Is said to he nonstallahle, and a tricycle lundlng gear prevents noseovera. TO IRRIGATE DESERT Maj. John Coolidge and His Bride Bose— Why do you .Idnk you'll make a good auto mechanic? Applicant— Well. I know one of tbe secrets o f t i t business Is, while you'rt making repairs always see that some thing else gets broke. “T h e fall bat will be lighter this year than last." says « well known authority on male styles. It should, I f tha dry rlraner know a his business. Mechanical Endurance Tha old typew riter*# good and iuogh. And If It w ere not eo. I t couldn't stand h alf o f the stuff F or lite ra ry show Sound A d vice “ Now, air." said the ambitious young man whose parents bad brought him np In the food belief that be could sing, “ you have tried my voice. I want you to tell me Just wbat It ts beat adapted to.” And. without a moment’s hesitation, the singing master rep lied : "W hisper ing." In view o f our Inability to do any thing shout the weather, perhaps the oext best thing ts to do something to the chump who's always reminding us o f It. W e wouldn't cull the nniue o f Sal mon P. O tase a household word ex actly. And certainly we wouldn't call his face on tba new tio.uuu bill a household faco. SUFFERING ELIMINATED lS-years success m treating Rectal and Colon troubles oy the Dr C J Dean WON-aUWCICAi isethna •*- aMss us to give WRITTEN AS SI IRANCK ot f t l . M KIJMh NA ntO ar IKE MKFUNIkEI*. Send toüsv lor EVER nook deecrthlna c iu m and nmm 100-rsae Lw leaalmem t4 tm e h .Omenti, ¿N CLINIC ft' T im ------- V» H " ■TT,"I A ll Set N ew First Housewife— I haven't Mrs. Binks shopping lately. Second Delicatessen Patroness— Haven't yon heard? H er husband bought a drag store.— American L e gion Monthly. l b Identify Genuine Aspirin H E Increasing nse o f B ayer A spirin every year is proof that it has no ill effects. I t is the accepted antidote fo r pain. It alw ays helps; it never harms. Quick relief when you've a headache, or cold; or are suffering from neu ra lgia or neuritis. Bheumatic pains yield, too, if y o u 'll only give these tablets a chance. But you w ant genuine A spirin, so look fo r tha B ayer Croae on every tablet The box always bears the name Bayer and the word ' 'gen u in e'' printed in red. Proven directions inald*. T MOBOeeetieecidestir Crossed Atlantic in Little Ketch T*r Stock o f tha Cincinnati National «a g u e baseball club, o f >50 par value, arhlcb recently Jumped from >80 to M i l a shure a fter It wns rumored lack Hendrick* might be replaced aa '.be Reds' manager, reached a record nigh at >210 when lleudrlcks tendered nil resignation. C ordi and Chords Dome Ethel Smyth, famous com poser and conductor. Is noted for her ready wit. On one occasion she wns giving an afternoon lecture to a distinguished put boring anti, being troubled with the sun's rays falling Just across her line o f vision, she asked a male col league scaled beside her on the plat form. nnd who, like herself, was en tilled to add “ Mun. Doc." to his name to lower the wtndowshndo. In his endeavor to do so he had much difficulty with the cord, and, as he continued to struggle with It. Dame Ethel smilingly rem arked: “ Strange that a doctor o f music should ba unable to manage a common cord.“ Differences In Steel T h e bureau o f standards says that fhe difference between etalnlese Iron end stainless steel Is mainly a dlfTer- ence In carbon content. Stainless Iron has prncttrally no carboa Nat Muck H elp Bill Trace says he's mlgldy glnd so tnnny folks are wlshln' him luck In cleanin' out all those frogs he found In hie well recently. “ It's right nice ' said Bill s chucklin' “ to have «o man» It wish""« Kona ao ' I In- ' 1» ot Bayer Manufacture ot ot BaUcyUcactd m Immediately after the wedding o f Maj. John Coolidge. son o f former President and Mrs. Coolidge, and Florence Trumbull, dnughter o f the gov ernor o f Connecticut, In Plnlnvllle, Conn., the bride and groom obligingly posed for the news photographer», with the above result. The young couple then departed for n b rief honeymoon trip somewhere In New Euglund, trav eling mostly by automobile. An eminent dermatologist says w id e hcr.» grow Jus! aa fast In cold weather aa In hot. Thla no doubt account! for the many long beards among Kaki mo*. T h e aclentlflc preparation paradt- rhlorohenxlne la sab' to Ire very de al m otive to moths. A goral plan la to w rite the ninne on a piece o f pn|ier nnd place II In your pocket; then the moth will see It anil luugli hlmeelS to death. Condition Unchanged Mrs. Tester— Before we were mar ried you said you were unworthy to lace my shoe«, and now I'm giving yon the chance to do It *Dd yon refuse. H er Husband— Just so. Well, I still feel unworthy. Aspirin la the trade mark REDS’ STOCK JUMPS Heard on the bus: “ T h e other night our favorite w ife accuser) the Toung Hopeful o f using some o f her new sun tan powder, hut Investigation de veloped that he had truly failed to wash Ills neck." "W hat la womnn’a placeT" aaka a correspondent. Aa a result of extend ed observation, we are able to Inform him that It la any plnre alia hnppcns to he In, while she's there. S H O E P O L IS H DOES THE TH IN KIN G Arthur P. Davis, form erly head of he United Stntes reclamation service, alio has been designated hy the Soviet jovernment o f Russia to supervise the ftgantlc >250,000,000 desert Irrigation 1 >rojoct In Ituaalnn Turkestan, where dussln expects to grow cotton. Considering the manner In which the reducing fad liua swept through women'* word robes, father wonder* how mother and the girls still mnnnge to require so much luggage for vaca tion tours. A polle« force I d South America hai nlpi>ed a plot to Injure the United Ht a tea. That's more tiran some police forcea In the United States are doing D y a n S h i N E W hat E very Person K now « “ Yea." said the baseball manager, ’ I f rain stops the game we g lv « pain checks that entitle tbe holder to conte i back to see another game free.“ “ That Isn't necessary for ua to do," | sighed the preacher. “ I f It even look» ; lik e rain people stay away from church." Another thing we have always felt to be wildly elaggerated Is the Import ( lance o f the matter marked In • "M arked C opy." after It arrives. A Chicagoan, robbed o f hla suit o f clothe« by footpads, dashed Into ao alley and wrapped hlmaelf with a sport extra. This Is a way, o f coursa o f gellin g Into tha papers. T h rifty He— I threw m yself away when 1 married you. She— Well, I never knew you to throw awuy anything that was worth anything.— Vancouver P rovinca B A R T O N ’S What proflteth a man to break out o f a New York prison, where ha has been seeing Broadway shows for noth Ing. and pay >11 fo r a sentí Perhaps tha most puxxllng thing shout Tibet, called the l-und o f Mys tery In a new book title, la how each new explorer who manages to get Into the place Is the first. the thing to give. It is almost certain to clear up any minor ailment, and could by no possi bility do the youngest child the slightest harm. So it’s the first thing to think o f when a child has a coated tongue ; won't play, can’t sleep, is fretfu l or out o f sorts. Get the genuine; it always has Chas. H . Fletcher’s signature on the package. A t the touch o f the dauber «cuff* disappear, color is reatcrcd uniformly to faded ihoca. More than yo long-hfe thine»— to cent*. Colon for black, brown, tan and w ho« ahoea— a neutral polish for other a. i'oaslbly the moat notable Instance e f good Judgment during the heated term baa been the Swedish Byers' In ahlllly to get out o f Iceland. t F all * f M a « ffeventeen boy» look thè con rie In eooking In a Buffato high school. Must o f os learn to get breakfast after we'ra married.— Morrlstown Jersey- man. recipe o f the week calls for can cerróla, on tha theory, perhaps, Iha bitterest pill ran ha swallow ad Is sugar-coaled. One who lives In s “ house by the «Ida o f Ibe m ad“ these days Is likely to find Iha deep tracks o f strange au tomobiles In his front lawn. w H Babies w ill cry, often for no apparent reason. Y ou may not know what’s wrong, but you .can always g ive Csstoria. This soon has your little one com forted; i f not. you should call a doctor. D on’t experiment with medicine* intended for the stronger systems o f adults! M ost o f those little upsets are soon soothed away by a little o f this pleasant-tasting, gentle-acting children's remedy that children like. I t may be the stomach, or may be the little bowels. O r in the case o f older children, a sluggish, con stipated condition. Castoria is still I School-day scuffs I vanish with a touch— It la saddening 10 think that In a little while we shall begin to misa Iha old fashioned dollar bills, and tha new smaller ones, to a A dled that I f It CRY “ 1 And you every Job you v* bad and now your out o f work ngaln.” “ Now, that's an Idea, d e a r! Why couldn't you open up an employment agency?" Regulating tbe Skyway T h e aviato r h u rryln * by Is warned to Go or Stop; And every cloud In yonder sky W ill need a Trefltc Cop. Astronom ical Phenomenon H e (dream ily) — Would that I were a star In yon heavens. She ( I d l y ) — I ’d rather you were * com et "W h y ?" “ Then you’d come round only one# every fifty .rears" Thinking Up Something Fie— W ell, If you won't marry me, I shall go and— She— Go and what? He— Don't rush a fellow. I haven't decided y e t When They Change “ Women always say they are young er than they are." “ Not always. I promised my fiancee a necklace with a pearl for every year o f her life and she said sh*- wus live years older thno she w h s " — Madrid Buen Humor Dudley N. Schoales, Jr., Joseph Runimler and Carl L. Weagant. all students nt Cornell university, pictured In their forty-six-foot ketch Carlssrk on their arrival at Cannes, France, the end o f their perilous voyage across the Atlantic ocean. THINGS YOU MAY NOT KNOW Police women are employed In 218 American cities. It Is estimated that there are +4,000 thunderstorms occurring dally on the earth. Belgium, with a territory o f 11.872 square mile#, has passed the 8,000,000 mark In population. A study o f the Chlppewns shows that the average fam ily among Indians 'm l <!"•! i : !> r.vo nr l':r. • el.lid oa. T here are 483 known volcanoes In the world. The average American automobile owner paid >16.53 In gasoline tax Inst year, statistics show. The population o f the United States Increases at the rate o f about 1.600.- 000 persons a year. The Ottawa river, In Its upper course north o f Pembroke, Canada Is "Id to h-> over 3,0 '• f c| ill**';». The Foundation “ Has young Jones any gift for painting?" “ Yea, a sailor friend gave him a lot o f old canvas."— Pathfinder Maga zine. Education Visitor— I hear you’ve lost your par rot that used to swear ao terribly. Host— Yes, died o f shock. Visitor— Really, how did !: happen? Host— He escu(>ed from hi* cage and wandered on to the g o lf llnka Candid Waggish t*lner (w ith menu) — Chicken croquettes, e h ) I sny. waiter what part o f a chicken Is the cro q u ette' W alter T i e nert ••■ofe ie f‘ m e froM I !: d ! \ Is , II,-|- • u L ik e Rattlesnake Meat Is rattlesnake meat good to eat? O f course the uninitiated will at once an swer In the negative, says the Path finder Magazine. But not ao with the fa ir students o f the nature study camp o f the Pennsylvania State college sum m er session. Some 200 stndents at tbe camp In the valley o f the Seven Sisters moun tains sampled fried rattlesnake and all declare “ It tastes Just like chicken or frogs' legs, and once yon try It you're sure to come back for more." Reason Enough “ N ow why on earth must we go to Afghanistan?” “ Grandma wants aome afghans." Sound Accnratoly Recorded Transmission o f light beams, through a fabric film upon which positive sound Images are recorded, hat re sulted, the Inventor o f the process aaya. In the reproduction o f sound* without distortion. Projecting the light through the fabric medium for tbe purpose o f translating sound Images Into musical or vocal sounds may be conducted either with or without mo tion pictures, says Popular Mechanics Magazine. M ore Camouflage Mother— W illie, I told you to wash your neck clean. W illie — W ell, mother, ain’t 1 going to wear a collar? Here’s one granddaughter who takes advice from elders Schoolgirl learns simple health measure \ \ 77TH all the talk there is now- V V ad ays about the independence o f the tub-deb generation, your re porter got a great kick out o f hear ing a grandmother describe how her granddaughter wa* follow ing a good old tried and true method o f improv in g her general health. “ M y granddaughter, Margaret,"aaya Mrs. Z ell o f 6231 Catherine Street, Philadelphia, “ read about N ujol, was interested in it, ao sent for a »ample.’ ' It seems ahe ha» been tak ing a tablespoon o f Nujol once a day since and expects to continue this treatment. Already she has found an improvement in her general health, her s y ite m fu n c tio n in g normally where other remedies had failed. T h at’ » one o f the best things about N u jol. It is just ai harmless for young girls, or babies even, as it is for adults. For N ujol contains no "tdicines or drug'. It can’t v s e t Starting right you because it works t o easily and regularly, in a normal fashion. N u jol wss perfected by the Nujol Laboratories, 2 Park Avenue, N ew York City. It can be bought any where for about tbe price o f a ticket to a good movie. G et a bottle of Nujol today and try it, w o n 't you? In se?.!?d r-cLc-es.